One of the last times I went to visit my grandmother, “MaMa” as we all called her, and THE last time for it to be just the two of us where we could actually have a heart to heart, I asked her, What is the secret to a long and happy life?”  Here is what she said. “Live Clean. Do right. Go to church. Love people.”  Then she looked at me very seriously and said, “You know, you can do a lot more than you think you can. Sometimes you just have to make do.”  The first few suggestions didn’t surprise me, but the last part gave me a big lump in my throat. 

I started thinking back over her life and the ordinary, yet extraordinary life that she lived.  Growing up in South Tunnel, just south of Gallatin, TN, with all of those brothers and sisters, she often told me that they “didn’t have much of anything but they didn’t know it because they had love and that was all that mattered.” She learned from a very early age that she could do more than she thought she could and she made do with what she had. 

She and my PaPa, fell in love only to be separated for 2 years because of the war. Having my own husband be deployed for a year, I think I have a taste of what that was like- the fear, the worry, the sleepless nights,  but not really. Communication was scarce for her.  I cannot imagine writing to him and not knowing if/when those letters would be received or returned. I remember the frustration of FaceTiming with John and the delay.  That delay would make conversations jumbled and not at all smooth.  I imagine this would have been that frustration times infinity. But she could do more than she thought she could and she made do with what she had. 

MaMa and PaPa got married and lived a simple and happy life.  She had 4 beautiful children and was a great mother.  They say that a person should never have to bury their own child, but MaMa did.  Dianne was only 17 years old when she died of a brain aneurism. MaMa would tell me about Dianne from time to time since I was named after her.  I wish I could have had the chance to meet her. Since becoming a mom myself, there have been times when I have thought that if God forbid something happen to one of my own children, they would have to bury me with them. But somehow MaMa was able to do more than she thought she could and she made do with what she had.

I was so blessed that I was able to know and love both MaMa and PaPa throughout my childhood and into adulthood.  They lived only 25 minutes away and so I was able to visit often.  We went to dinner at their house pretty much every other Saturday night all throughout my childhood. I wish I had a penny for every homemade biscuit she made or for every hamburger PaPa grilled. I’m not sure if there was some secret recipe or if the secret ingredient was simply love. She just always seemed to have a plate full of biscuits, a warm hug, and a kind smile for every visit.  She was always doing things for other people and I was able to watch her and see the kind of woman I strive to be. From driving people to church, to visiting and taking meals to the sick, her hands were always busy and she did so much good for so many people. She did more than she thought she could and she made do with what she had. 

When PaPa got sick, I wasn’t sure MaMa would be able to make it alone.  Apparently I forgot the strength that she had through so many times.  But PaPa was her rock. They took care of each other.  I just didn’t know how she would ever be able to do it alone. I would go to visit her and she would tell me that it “sure did get lonely.”  I still remember talking to her about moving into an assisted living facility so she wouldn’t be so lonely.  I will never forget when she told me that she might just do that and soon she was moved into her apartment and she seemed happy there.  I know that it was not her home. I know that it was not what she would have chosen had she had the choice, but in true MaMa form, she could do more than she thought she could do and she made do with what she had.

As her health declined over the last several years, I never once visited her when I wasn’t greeted with her beautiful smile.  She may not have always known my name, but she always smiled and looked at me lovingly.  On the visits when I could tell she didn’t remember me, there were always moments when she would look at me and I KNEW she remembered because the deeper look of  love in her eyes would shine through.  She would look at me and say “Are you one of mine?” And I would say, “Yes, ma’am!” And she would say “I thought you were” and would grin at me even more. In the last few days before her death, even after she stopped talking, the nurse told us that she wouldn’t say a word but would just smile when they walked in.  Even at the end, she could do more than she thought she could do and made do with what she had.

Fred Rogers is quoted as saying, “The real issue in life is not how many blessings we have, but what we do with our blessings. Some people have many blessings and hoard them. Some have few and give everything away!” I think MaMa did more with those blessing than she ever thought she could do and she made the MOST of what she had. 

I can’t wait to see her smile again one day.  I know there was a great reunion in heaven as she went to be with PaPa, Dianne, her mom and dad, her brothers and sisters and so many people who have gone on before her. I can imagine it’s quite the reunion and there is this little part of me that can even imagine God looking into her smiling face and saying, “You are one of mine, aren’t you?”